Once Lost
by jabamiah
Summary: Inspired by 4x06.The reason why Javier and Lanie broke up after the double dinner. Lanie centric. Lanie/Kate, Javier/Kate. Esplanie. My first publication in English, please be indulgent !
1. Chapter 1 : Lanie & Kate

Hi everyone! This is my first publication here, and I'm a little bit nervous ^_^ Actually I am French and although I love English, I don't think I can write perfectly in the Shakespeare language. But I really wanted to translate a French Castle fic from my dear friend Hell-and-bliss, so that we spread the Esplanie love all over the world ^_^ I hope my rendition is not awful and I didn't make too many mistakes...and I hope you'll enjoy your reading. Reviews and comments are welcome ;)

The story was inspired by the **04x06** episode. There will be 4 chapters.

**ONCE LOST**

Kate Beckett casually pushed the morgue door.

« Castle, just because our vic died of suffocation in a Xmas tree bag, doesn't mean that he was killed by maleficent goblins hired by Santa Claus », she sighed, annoyed by another far-fetched theory of her partner, who was always full of imagination.

« What? Maybe he was a naugty boy this year », Rick said, as he was trying to defend his theory. Kate rolled her eyes but couldn't help smiling softly. When she turned to Lanie, her smile slightly faded. The man who was lying on the table in front of her had been murdered, and she had to be professional.

« Hey Lanie. So, anything new? »

Lanie pulled the sheet away and revealed the pale arm of the cold body.

« He wasn't choked. I mean, he didn't die of suffocation. Here are needle marks on his arm. And tox results turned up cyanide. Small doses, but just enough to kill him », Lanie explained.

« Cyanide... » Kate repeated, pensively.

« What about DNA? » Rick asked. Lanie shooked her head.

« Nothing relevant. »

Kate sighed.

« Allright. I guess we didn't make any progress. »

« And what if Santa Claus used some cyanide in his factory, you know, for toy manufacturing?

« Sure, because he wanted to poison the children under the Xmas tree. Very clever, Castle! Anyway, Santa Claus doesn't exist! » Kate reminded, as if Castle was 7. He frowned.

« Oh, come on Kate. Don't take my hope away », he moaned. Kate rolled her eyes again and shared an amused look with Lanie.

« Ok Castle, go and think about Santa Claus's evil plans in the car, I'll join you in 5 minutes », Kate said.

Castle understood immediately what she meant. « Oh I see...ladies... » he said as he walked away. Kate waited for him to walk through the heavy metallic door before turning to Lanie, who was already covering the corpse with the sheet.

« Lanie, can I talk to you for a sec ? »

« Sure, what's up? »

« It may sound too direct to you, but...did you and Esposito break up? » Kate asked. Lanie's eyes widened.

« Are you seriously asking me this? »

Kate nodded. Lanie sighed and rolled her eyes.

« Well, let me tell you this : we're not having this conversation », Lanie replied with a cold tone. Kate stared at her friend.

« You don't want to talk about it? » she asked, softly. Lanie shaked her hand and took off her gloves.

« Nope. »

« Lanie! Seriously, I don't get it », Kate insisted.

« You don't have to understand! Have I ever asked you anything about you and your writer boy? »

« He's not MY writer boy...and yes, you're always asking », Kate answered. Lanie sighed.

« Ok, wrong example. But I don't know, there's nothing to say. We split up, that's all. We didn't have feelings for each other, so there was no point in staying together », Lanie said as she walked towards the table where all her surgical instruments were displayed.

« Oh come on, give me a break! » Kate objected. « Lanie, I've known you for years now...you're my friend. The least you can do is being honest with me, can't you? »

Lanie turned to Kate, crossing her arms.

« What do you want to know, detective? »

« I know you care about him and I saw the way he used to look at you. So I don't get it, » Kate admitted, confused.

Lanie shook her shoulders.

« There's nothing to understand. We're just cooling things off, that's all. I guess feelings aren't enough. »

« So what was the missing part? » Kate asked.

« Nothing, to be honest. He was great with me », Lanie replied. « It's just that, with Kevin and Jenny, we ended up talking about marriage, that other night, and... »

« And? »

« And we had a fight. We didn't have the same point of view, that's all », Lanie said.

« And that's why you split up? Because you disagreed? » Kate tried to understand. « Don't you think it's a little bit too easy? »

« Not when it's about marriage. Because it's a subject that everybody has to discuss one day or another, and we were just not ready to talk about it. We need some time...well, I need time. You know him, Javier is impulsive, he's latin, passionate... »

« But he's against marriage? » Kate interrupted, surprised.

« No, actually it's the opposite... » Lanie sighed. Kate's eyes widened.

« What...You? You are against marriage? »

« I'm just not ready to talk about it with him! And he didn't appreciate. He overreacted », Lanie explained, with bitterness in her voice.

« Why won't you talk to him about it? »

« We've been dating for only one year, Kate! », Lanie retorted, upset.

« So what? It was working! » Kate insisted.

Lanie gave her a mischievous smile.

« Hey, it's been working for three years, between you and Castle, you never talked about marriage though, did you? »

Kate rolled her eyes.

« Lanie, come on...between us, it's professional. Only professional. »

Lanie let out a laugh.

« Give me a break. »

« And now that you mentioned it, » Kate said, looking at the ceiling, « he proposed me once. »

Lanie raised her eyes and gazed at Kate, stunned.

« What? »

« Yeah, sort of...actually he just took Ryan's wedding ring on the floor when they were rehearsing his proposal to Jenny...it was cute...nevermind... » Kate chuckled, shaking her head. By the way she was smiling, she wasn't fooling anyone, especially Lanie.

« Kate, you're so in love with him », Lanie said with a soft smile. Kate's smile faded lightly.

« Hmm...nope. And don't change the subject, please! » Kate scolded, suddenly nervous.

« Whatever you say...I'm not blind, » Lanie added with a smile.

« I'm not either...regarding your situation. I can see how great you and Esposito were together. So whatever you say, I don't think there's a good reason why you two guys broke up ! » Kate replied.

Lanie glanced at her and ran her hand through her long hair, tired of the conversation.

« Well, there's something I never told you », she admitted, clearing her throat.

« Tell me », Kate said, crossing her arms.

« It's not easy to say...When I was 20, I got married », Lanie confided, with a hesitant voice. Kate widened her eyes.

« You what? »

« With a guy I met in med's school. »

« You gotta be kidding... » Kate whispered. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. « You've been married at 20, you, Lanie Parish? » she said, almost amused.

« Well, yes! The sweet little doctor got married on the impulse at the age of 20. »

« Las Vegas? » Kate tried to guess.

« No...not far though. His name's Michael. We had been dating for months. I was desperately in love with him...I would have said yes to him anytime for anything! » Lanie remembered.

« But? »

« But it ended bad. Very bad. It's a painful memory and I hardly can talk about it. » Lanie added, getting more and more uncomfortable. She was entertwining her fingers, trying to keep an air of composure.

« What did he do to you? » Kate tried to ask, concerned for her friend. Lanie didn't answer completely.

« He hurt me. Anyway...whatever. I know it's just the past. But it's a very bad memory. And since then, it's been hard for me to commit myself in a relationship. It never really was a problem for me until...until I dated you know who. » Lanie whispered. Kate smiled softly.

« So, you do like him, right? »

« What do you think... » Lanie mumbled, as she didn't really like to pour her heart like this.

« Anyway, it's over now, » she added as she shook her shoulders, with a resolute tone.

« Wait, you're not going to let that thing pull you apart, are you? Lanie, you should talk to him about it », Kate tried to say as an advice.

Lanie shook her head.

« I barely can talk to you about it, I just can't tell him », she said as she looked at the instruments she was putting back in order.

« If you don't tell him, I will », Kate threatened. Lanie suddenly raised her eyes at her and grabbed a scalpel.

« You'd better not... » Lanie said, raising her scalpel with a threatening tone. Kate laughed.

« Okay, okay, I won't tell him. But you should think about it...and woa, you definitely know how to scare people, you know! »

« I know », Lanie said proudly with a smile as she put the scalpel down.

« Please, tell me you'll talk to him », Kate insisted.

Lanie was about to reply something when Kate's phone rang. Beckett checked the caller's ID and glanced at Lanie, her eyes widened.

« Crap. Castle! »

Lanie smirked.

« Forgotten in a car...poor thing! » Lanie chuckled.

« Okay, I'm off. But this conversation is not over! » Kate said as she pointed a finger at Lanie, before heading to the metallic door.

Lanie rolled her eyes.

« Yes it is. This conversation's over! » she said with a smile.

_… To be continued..._

thanks for reading! ;)


	2. Chapter 2 : Javier & Kate

****Hi everyone. Here's the second chapter. I hope you'll enjoy reading it. :)

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><p>« Still nothing with the mother ! » Ryan sighed as he flopped down into his chair. It had been a hard working day. The night was about to fall and they hadn't progressed at all.<p>

« What, she didn't confess? » Kate asked as she looked up from the file she was reading.

« Actually, I don't think she's involved. Not to mention that we checked, she has a damn good alibi. And, she doesn't seem twisted enough to have a partner, well we have no lead. So I guess we're back to square one... » Esposito added as he tossed his car's keys on the desk.

Kate ran her hand in her long hair and sighed heavily.

« I hate this case...I feel like my brain is going to explode for too much thinking » she said as she massaged the side of her forehead.

« Speaking of brain, where's Castle? » Ryan asked, looking around him.

« Home. Alexis needed her daddy », she said with a smile.

Ryan and Esposito shared a look.

« Oh. I see you're already missing him », Ryan teased, aware he would receive a disapproval look. Indeed, Kate glanced at him.

« Ryan. Don't you have a wife, who's waiting for you to come home? It's late, we'll continue this tomorrow...I think you'd better go now. »

Ryan smiled.

« You're right. I'm exhausted. Tonight, we're going to the cinema with Jenny. You know, we're going to watch one of these Christmas movies released at that time of the year. Wanna join? » Ryan offered.

« Thanks for the offer but no thanks. Christmas movie, hell no » Kate declined with a smile.

« Hmm, me neither, brother. I already have plans. And I hate movies for chicks », Esposito replied. Ryan stared at him, coldly.

« Movies for chicks? » he said. Javier nodded.

« Yeah you know what I mean, the kind of cheesy movies, full of romantic feelings...eww, just the thought gives me the creeps » he chuckled.

« Well, for once, and it's rare enough to be notified, I agree with Esposito on that! » Kate added as she slipped a file into the drawer of her desk.

Ryan looked at them both and just shrugged.

« Well, as you wish. For the record, I like movies for chicks and I'm not afraid to say it », he said with a cheerful voice as he headed to the elevator, holding his jacket under his arm. Kate raised her eyes to Esposito and they shared an amused look.

« Jenny has a bad influence on him » Javier said, which made Kate smile.

« So, you have plans for tonight? » she said, trying not to sound too curious.

« Yeah, just a party with former pals from the army...wanna join? » he offered.

« Thanks but no thanks. I think I've seen enough men for today » Kate said, as she couldn't help thinking about Rick.

« Come on. You love being followed by Castle, just admit it! » Esposito said. Kate sighed and decided to change the subject.

« By the way...have you talked to Lanie, recently? » she asked as she took out her gun from her pocket.

« Yes, this morning when we found the body » he said vaguely.

« No, I meant, for personal matter. » Kate specified. Javier frowned.

« Personal matter. What do you mean? »

Detective Beckett shrugged.

« I don't know, I saw her earlier, and I thought she looked sad. Because you guys broke up. »

Esposito let out a laugh.

« Sad. Lanie. Because of me? Tell me about it...That girl is a rock. The bodies she dissects can show more emotions than she does! »

Kate stared at him, quite surprised by what he just said.

« So what are you saying? That her heart is made of stone? » Kate said, a little bit on the defensive. Esposito shook his head.

« That's not what I'm saying. But obviously you're wrong. She's not sad because of me. She is the one who wanted to cool things off, you know. »

« I thought you guys decided to split, because you both agreed on it? » Kate reminded. Javier frowned.

« That's what she told you? » he said, surprised. Kate winced and hesitated before replying.

« No...err...Castle and Ryan couldn't stop talking about you two today. »

Esposito's eyes widened.

« Now I see why they suddenly changed the subject when I interrupted them earlier...I can't believe it. I can see how focused they were on the case! » he grumbled.

« You know Castle, he's unable to focus on anything », Kate said.

« Except on you », Esposito mumbled in a low voice as he put his jacket on.

« What did you say? » Kate asked as she didn't hear.

« Nothing! » he said with a smirk.

« So, is it true? You both decided to split up? » Kate asked again, crossing her arms.

« Why do you want to know? »

« She's my friend...and I like you too. I think that you guys breaking up is stupid », she admitted.

« Well...First I'm glad to know you like me... » he started with humor. Then he added « And if you really wanna know, she wanted to break up, more than I did. » There was bitterness in his voice.

« Ok, you're going to say that this is none of my business but...I think you should talk to her », Kate said softly.

« Talk about what? She's the one who started all this », he mumbled as he grabbed his keys.

« Because of marriage? »

« Did she talk to you about it? » Esposito asked, surprised.

« Sort of... »

« So you know that it's all her fault. Because she doesn't care about me enough to commit herself in our relationship. I thought that what we had was strong, you know. And I'm not interested in relationships that lead to nowhere », he barked. Thinking about the breakup with Lanie always made him lose his temper.

« Well there was a time you told me a different story », Kate said as she remembered some of his one night stands.

« Lanie's not like all these girls for me. I expected to live something different with her », he revealed, quite uncomfortable to pour his heart to Kate.

Softened by his words, Kate put her arm on Javier's to confort him.

« So go talk to her. There are things she wants to say to you. »

« What kind of things ? »

Kate cleared her throat.

« ...You'd better talk with her before I make a big mistake... » she mumbled as she tried to shut her mouth. Esposito gave her a suspicious look.

« Wait a minute...Did she tell you something? »

Kate shook her head no but by the way she was tense, one could tell she was lying.

« You're lying. I can see it by your face » he said.

« I'm not », she managed to say.

« Beckett, tell me what she said. »

« Esposito. I'm the one giving orders here! » she recalled, surprised by his boldness.

Javier sighed and straigthened the collar of his jacket.

« Allright, as you wish. But I won't talk to her. If she has something to say, I won't be the one to make the first move. Certainly not », he said, stubborn. Kate sighed and rolled her eyes. Sometimes he was being childish.

« You're so stubborn. Ok listen. She's been married once when she was younger, and for her, it's a very painful memory. »

Damn. She spilled the news. Esposito slowly turned to her, in astonishment. Kate bit her lips, inwardly blaming herself for betraying Lanie.

« She's going to kill me », she moaned to herself.

« ...what? » Javier muttered.

« Scalped to death, I'm sure it's excruciating... » she thought out loud with a disgusted face. Javier didn't even hear what she said.

« What did you say about Lanie? » Javier repeated, his eyes fixed on her. Kate's beautiful gaze met Esposito's.

« Me? Nothing. I gotta go. See you tomorrow and have fun with your friends! » she said in a hurry. Then she grabbed her jacket and flew to the exit door as fast as she could, the sound of her heels clipping on the ground.

Kate exhaled as the elevator doors closed behind her. Esposito was still standing way behind, in the middle of the room, petrified after the revelation.

...

..

.

_to be continued_


	3. Chapter 3 : Lanie & Javier

Hi people! So sorry for not updating sooner... But I'm really glad I got a few reviews and some story alerts, it makes me wanna continue :) I hope you'll appreciate this new chapter. Enjoy your reading.

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><p>She didn't know exactly how she had ended up there, at his door. But there she was. Obviously, the talk she had with Kate earlier had touched her more than she would have thought. As much as annoying Katherine Beckett had been regarding that situation, Lanie had to admit her friend was right, she had to talk to him.<p>

Lanie took a deep breath before reaching out her hand to ring the door bell.

« Javier Esposito »

She stared at the written name under the button for a few seconds, as she humected her lips nervously. She was wearing dark jeans and a black mohair pullover. Her long straight hair was falling off her shoulders and she was wearing big silver earrings. She had put some soft black eyeliner and a shiny red lipstick in order to look pretty, because deep inside her, she wanted to make up with him. She missed him terribly.

Ok, she had finally pushed the door ring. She was slightly shaking, as she dreaded the old wooden door to open.

Lanie closed her eyes and rehearsed what she wanted to say in her head. But then, when the door opened, all she had in mind was gone.

Javier opened the door and couldn't stop staring at what was in front of him, in the shadow of the hallway.

There was a few moment of silence, as both of them realized that they were facing each other.

"L…Lanie", he stammered.

"Hi, may I interrupt?" she asked with a soft voice. She didn't expect he would be so surprised to see her, so that she couldn't manage to pronounce his name.

"No, I…" He couldn't finish his sentence.

"_Javier, are you coming?"_

Lanie's blood went cold when she heard that female voice coming out of the blue. No, unfortunately it wasn't her imagination. He wasn't alone. He had invited someone. When the girl appeared just behind Javier, Lanie stared at her immediately. She was blond, tall, skinny…the exact opposite of her. And she was way more beautiful than her. Of course she was.

"I…" Javier stammered. He couldn't stop looking at Lanie, who just nodded, blaming herself. She should have seen it coming. And more than ever, she was blaming the lame advices of her 'so-called best friend' right now.

"I'm…I'm sorry for disturbing", she managed to say as she dropped her eyes. She turned around but felt Esposito's hand catching her arm.

"No, Lanie, wait…I'm glad you came to see me."

Lanie offered him a cold look as she pointed at the girl who was waiting in the living room.

"Yeah, I can see that", she replied ironically, as she pulled her arm back.

"Come on, it's nothing. We need to talk."

"It's nothing but it's in your living room, though", she added, colder than ever. Lanie never lacked of sarcasm. He didn't know what to respond.

"I'm sorry", Javier sighed as he bit his lips. He really felt uncomfortable.

"Don't bother", she cut him off as she tried to walk away.

"Lanie, wait!" Esposito called, as he grabbed her arm again.

Lanie turned around, furious.

"Let me go, please", she demanded, politely but firmly. He had never seen her so angry. He let go off her arm.

"I need to talk to you", he insisted.

"We'll see, later. Obviously, a young woman is sitting on your couch. Don't make her wait, girls tend to hate that," she barked as she stared at him coldly. Then she walked away.

Javier watched her go as her silhouette disappeared into the stairs. He hadn't expected to see her…he didn't even manage to run after her. He just ran a hand through his very short hair, and mumbled some Spanish curse words with a heavy sigh, as he turned to his apartment.

"So, who was she?" the pretty blond girl asked on the sofa, as she was holding a glass of red wine. Javier stared at her silently, as he slammed the door behind him. He didn't even remember why the hell he had invited her.

…

The day after flew really fast. Esposito threw himself into hard work, although he couldn't help but feel out of the case at the same time. Of course, Lanie never answered his phone calls. He had called her more than fifty times. Hopefully, Kate had let him alone. She had been too much focused on the case they had, and had completely forgotten about the problems her friends and colleagues were going through. And it was a good thing. If he had told her what happened the day before, Kate would have killed him in the minute…and he would have deserved it.

Lying on her sofa, Lanie grabbed the remote control as she heard the "beep" of the microwave. She lowered the sound of the TV, and stood up, immediately attracted by the nice smell of Chinese noodles that was invading the apartment. She smiled as she reached to the kitchen. She was starving, as she couldn't find the time to have lunch today. She was getting ready for a TV program and a quiet dinner combination to cheer her up…But maybe her evening wouldn't turn out the way she expected.

After the beep of the microwave, the door rang. Lanie glanced at her entrance, upset.

"Come on, no no no…Tonight, I'm doing what my friends at the morgue always do…the dead!" she said to herself with humor, as she opened the door of the microwave.

"Lanie, it's me!" a voice said. Javier Esposito's. Lanie glanced at her door again, more upset. She waited a few seconds, silently, as she didn't know what to do.

"Lanie, I know you're here. I saw your car, downstairs. And Rodriguez saw you coming home earlier. And I can see your light, just through the door."

Lanie rolled her eyes. He even looked under her door, and questioned his neighbor. In the end, she sighed heavily and replied.

"Questioning Mr Rodriguez? You're going too far," she said.

"He speaks Spanish, I can practice so I don't forget my native language", he replied, with humor.

"Stupid", she sighed as she rolled her eyes.

"Open the door, please, " he said, more serious.

"What do you want?" she groaned as she walked to the door.

"Talk. Just five minutes…please", the voice behind the door replied. Lanie moved forward, reluctantly and put the door chain before opening it. Javier saw Lanie appear, protected by the security chain. He was surprised, but smiled.

"I said it's just me. Not a burglar or a thief. I'm a cop, you're safe with me. You don't need to put that stuff…" he said as he pointed the door chain.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Lanie asked, ignoring what he just said.

"We need to talk, don't you think?"

"No, I don't", Lanie said as she shook her head. Javier sighed.

"I called you a hundred times."

Lanie nodded.

"Hmm Hmm, I know, " she said. He smiled softly.

"You're incredibly stubborn…and it's incredibly sexy", Esposito made her notice as he gazed at her. She was wearing a cyan tank top and grey jogging pants. A complete casual clothing that Javier really found attractive.

Lanie sighed heavily as she dropped her eyes, annoyed by his smooth talk.

"If you think I'm going to open the door with that talk, you're wrong…"she added as she stared at him coldly. Javier smiled again. Even when she was grumpy, he always thought that Lanie Parish was irresistible.

"Come on, please…and then I'll be gone in 5 minutes. I promise", he said as he looked at her in the eye and raised his right hand to swear.

"You can talk behind the door", Lanie said.

"Yes I could, but…" He quickly looked around him and shrugged.

"It's cold out there and the light bulb is broken, I'm scared. So what, I'm scared of the dark…you didn't know that?" he said as he raised an eyebrow.

Lanie stared at him, silently and made no move. He bit his lips after a few seconds.

"Can you see how lame I can be for you to open your door?" he said with a nervous laugh.

"Yeah, and I find that pathetic", she mocked.

"So, take pity on me…" he added with puppy eyes.

After staring at him a few seconds, Lanie sighed, convinced, and took the door chain away. She drily pulled the door and turned around to let Javier enter the room and close behind him.

"I give you 5 minutes, no more, no less", said Lanie as she finally turned to him.

"I see", he whispered as he cleared his throat. It wouldn't be easy. He unbuttoned a little bit his shirt – which Lanie found very attractive, but she managed to remain cold to him.

"First of all, I want to apologize for last night. That girl, well…she doesn't mean anything", he managed to say.

Lanie nodded and stopped him by raising her hand.

"You don't need to explain yourself. I thought about it, and I didn't have the right to come at your house out of the blue."

Javier moved forward to her.

"Please, listen to me. I want to explain myself", he cut her off, with an intense gaze.

"All right, go ahead," she said as she folded her arms, waiting for him to talk.

"Well last night there was a party with former pals from the army, and we went to that bar…well, we drank too much. I didn't know her before, and I want you to know that I kicked her out the minute you walked away from my apartment."

"Really?" Lanie said with astonishment as she raised an eyebrow.

"Really. And she even left me a little gift…" Javier said as he touched his unshaved cheek. Lanie's eyes widened.

"She slapped you?" she guessed.

"And it was a big one", he remembered as he kept massaging his cheek. The strength she had…he still could remember it.

"Why?"

"Because when I told her to leave, that it was a bad idea, she said she didn't get why I had told her to come upstairs if nothing would happen between us, plus she lives on the far opposite side of town, she would have to pay the cab a hundred bucks."

"Sorry", Lanie said with a laugh. "However, I'm glad she slapped you", she admitted. Javier's eyes widened.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Well, now that you mentioned it, I think I walked away too fast. I should have slapped you too", she added, proudly. Javier let out a laugh."

"You're right, I deserved it", he admitted. "You're still mad at me?"

"Yeah, a little bit", Lanie said. "To be honest, I didn't expect you to invite a girl so fast after our "pause" she added.

"Wow wow wow, wait. You mean our "split", Javier corrected, raising his hand.

"We said we were cooling things off, Esposito", Lanie said, as she insisted.

He frowned.

"So what, you mean it's not a breakup?" he asked, confused.

Lanie rolled her eyes.

"Damn, you guys are so basic", she mumbled.

"Thank you", he smirked.

"When I told you I wanted to cool things off, I didn't mean a breakup for good," she explained.

"So what's the point of splitting up?" Javier asked, more confused than ever.

Lanie sighed heavily again.

"Well, so that we can have time to think…You know that word, right?" she mocked him.

"Think about marriage, right?" Javier asked. Lanie nodded.

"Among others…" she mumbled. She ran a hand through her hair, searching for the right words. Javier guessed it was time to break the ice.

"Listen, Lanie…You need to know…Kate told me."

Lanie glanced at Javier, nervously.

"She told me you've been married once when you were younger, and you kept a bad memory of it."

Lanie stared at him, unable to move.

"What…you're kidding me?" she asked.

Javier swallowed hard.

"Um…well I'd like to, by the look on your face, but…no, I'm telling the truth", he replied, shyly.

"You gotta be kidding me!" Lanie shouted, as she started to pace.

"She dared telling you?" she added, hurt.

"Yup."

"Damn it! Tomorrow, I can assure you that Kate Beckett's body will be lying on my autopsy table", she swore, upset. Javier couldn't help but smiled.

"You can't kill her…Castle will protect her."

"I can't believe she told you!" Lanie said, ignoring his "Caskett" joke. Then she turned to him, in shock.

"And I can't believe I heard it from her instead of you, " Esposito cut her off, more serious. Lanie stared at him, in silence. Ok, she was really getting mad this time.

"I never told anybody before, ok? Only Kate, yesterday afternoon, but only because she managed to make me say it. She can be so annoying sometimes!" Lanie said, with anger.

"Yes she can", Javier said softly.

"And it's not something I like to brag about, you know!" she added. "And for your information, I was going to tell you, the night I saw you with Barbie!", she said with a louder voice.

Javier smiled at the nickname, despite Lanie's anger.

"Actually, her name is Kaylie," he corrected, which made Dr Parish more furious.

"Anyways, who cares", he temporized. "So that's why you freaked out when Jenny asked us about marriage?"

Lanie nodded.

"I didn't feel ready to talk about it with you or anyone else", she admitted, uncomfortable, as she replaced her long hair behind her ears.

"Well, I have to admit I'm offended you don't want to talk about it with me and that you consider me as anyone else…but I respect that."

Lanie nodded again.

"It's not that I consider you as anyone else, Javier. It's just that it's a part of my life that took a long time to heal, so I thought that talking about it again would be too hard", she admitted. Esposito gazed at her, and felt guilty for telling Kate that even the bodies Lanie dissected could feel more emotions than her. For the first time, she looked so fragile and vulnerable to him. Just like when she had rang at his door the night before, or when she had rushed to Kate's body during the shooting, barely a few months ago.

"Maybe it would make you feel better to talk about it with the right person, you know?" he offered as he looked her right in the eye.

"You mean, you're that person?" she said, raising an eyebrow.

Esposito moved towards her, nodding.

"I'd like to. Anyway, I think it would make you feel better. Lanie, listen…" he started, grabbing her hands. "I don't want to propose any time soon, you don't need to worry. I don't care of marriage. And if it's something you don't want to talk about ever, we won't. It's just that I would have preferred you to tell me, rather than break up with me and shut me out", he confessed.

Lanie looked at him for a few seconds, not knowing what to say. He was right, she should have told him. As she remained silent, Javier guessed she wasn't ready to talk yet. He gave her a bitter smile.

"Never mind. If you wanna talk, you know I'm here…that I always will. Okay now, my 5 minutes are over", he said with another smile as he leaned on her. He kissed her on the forehead and then backed off a little bit, to look her in the eye. Lanie shared his look without blinking, as if she was hypnotized.

Then he let go her hands softly and was about to turn around when she grabbed him again. He looked at her, surprised, while she kept holding his arm.

"Wanna stay for dinner?" she offered.

_to be continued..._


	4. Chapter 4 : Javier & Lanie

Hello guys! I'm so sorry for not updating before. Thank you so much for the few reviews I received. Here's the last chapter, already. I hope you will like it!

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><p>Lanie put her pasta box and her chopsticks on the small table of the living room, before grabbing her glass of wine. They were both sitting on the sofa, and they had been talking about a few ins and outs for over 20 minutes long, like they used to do a long time ago. It just felt so natural.<p>

« It was so delicious…if only I could cook like that », Lanie sighed as she put her glass on the table, while Esposito grabbed his.

« Well you can't be worse than me in cooking » he said with a smile.

« Yeah, I know that », she teased him with a playfullook, waiting for his reaction. He raised his eyes to hers and smiled. Lanie seemed more relaxed, comparing to the beginning of the evening.

« Hey, don't brag about yourself, » said Javier. « But it's okay, as long as you can dial the number of the best caterers, i can forgive you…and you have plenty of other qualities… » he added with a wink. Lanie smiled softly.

« Oh really ? Which ones ? »

« Come on, you know well. »

« Actually I don't », Lanie lied, as she twiddled a lock of her hair between her fingers. She was being more playful than a few minutes ago. She definitely looked more and more like the « normal Lanie ».

« Well…you are smart, perceptive, funny and most of all, you can be sexy even if your wear jogging pants. »

Lanie let out a laugh.

« Give me a break, » she said as she rolled her eyes.

« I swear. Jogging suits fit you so well. And this tank top… » he didn't finish his sentence and gazed at her with a charming look. Lanie met his eyes, moved by his words.

« You're not so bad either, you know », she said with a charming tone too.

« That's what my ex-girlfriend said, » Javier replied as he put his glass of wine on the table.

« The problem… » he added after clearing his throat, « is that she left me for no good reasons. In fact, she had a mental block against marriage and wouldn't tell me about her life… » he explained with a teasing look.

Lanie frowned, with a soft smile.

« All right, you win, » she sighed. Javier smiled proudly.

« Tell me. »

Lanie ran her hand through her hair. She always did that when she was searching for what to say.

« All right. His name was Michael and we met at med's school. We spent two semesters together, two semesters completely hot… »

« Oh really, it was that hot ? » Javier interrupted.

« Ooooh yeah it was », Lanie emphasized, her eyes wide opened. Javier gritted his teeth.

« Well done, Michael », he said in a low tone.

« We've been dating for only one year when we decided to get married. He proposed quite randomly by the way, and I said yes. I was still an immature kid, emotionally unstable and most of all, desperately blindly in love », Lanie said.

« Of course my mom wasn't going to give her consent. And he had no parents either. I sort of turned my back to my family for him, » she remembered.

« I guess it wasn't easy… » Esposito said. Lanie nodded.

« Not really. That's why I don't get along so well with my mother now…She always blamed me for doing that without her consent. Anyway, a few months later, Michael started to hang around disreputable people, and dropped school overnight. He didn't even want to become a doctor anymore. Actually he didn't want to do anything in his life. He started to be into drugs, drinking…and eventually cheated on me…a million times », she said, trying to remember all the girls he betrayed her with.

« What a jerk, » Esposito interrupted, shaking his head. Lanie smiled softly.

« Yes he was actually », she nodded. « Anyway, one night when I found out he was cheating on me, we started a fight and then he became violent », she said more seriously, with a shaky voice. Javier stopped smiling. He stared at her, as he could feel she was more tensed.

« He barely touched me that day but it happened, once. And that was it. That night, I realized I had no future with him. So I wanted to leave him. It was not that easy because I was afraid of him…and even if he swore a million times he would stop fooling around, I wanted to divorce. One year after that, it was over, we got divorced. Then he insisted to make up but I decided to leave, change town, and I finished my studies in New York », she finally said.

« I see…now I understand », Esposito replied with a soft voice.

« Now you know everything. Are you happy now ? »

He shrugged.

« Happy that you suffered so much in the past, certainly not. But happy that you told me about it, yes », he replied with a smile.

« Well you left me no choice… » she mumbled before taking a sip of red wine.

« Ok, maybe I insisted too much, but it was for a good reason », he argued. Lanie smiled softly.

« But still, there's something I don't understand, » he said, frowning.

« Tell me. »

« You said that you're not proud of that part of your life, and this marriage. But, it wasn't your fault it didn't work. So why do you keep blaming yourself for it, today ? » he asked.

« Because a failing marriage for me, is not that insignificant. Because I would have liked to get married once in my life, with the good person, you know. I used to have a traditional view of things…a functional marriage, spending my life with the same person, having kids…But since then, I completely changed my way of thinking. And I don't know if I would be able to remarry someday », she explained. Esposito shook his head.

« You should stop torturing yourself with that, Lanie. It's the past…and you don't have to get married », he added with a soft voice. Lanie looked at him, raising her eyebrow.

« Do you really think that ? » she said, surprised. Then he added :

« Well, it's true that I was raised in a traditional family, that marriage for Latinos is sacred and I have to admit I've always thought that I would get married someday, but it doesn't mean that it's going to happen…After all, it's a commitment of two people. If my girl doesn't want to, I can't get married by myself… » he said slightly, staring into space. Lanie was gazing at him and smiled. He was just adorable.

« You're right, » she said. « I have to stop thinking about it. It's the past anyway, end of story. It's just a personal failure, and I HATE failing…and being a loser », she said as she rolled her eyes, which made Esposito smile.

« Yeah, I know that », he laughed. « Remember that night when we went to this rec room at the corner of the 6th and the 42nd ? You made a fuss when we went home », he recalled with a laugh.

« You cheated ! » Lanie protested. She couldn't help but pinched his arm.

« No i didn't », he claimed as he shook his head. Lanie glared at him in silence. She didn't want to argue about it anymore as the thought of that night still made her upset.

« Anyways…it was good talking to you », she admitted, a little bit awkward. Esposito gazed at her for a few seconds before starting to speak.

« Lanie, you have to understand something. Marriage or not, I'm not Michael, and I won't ever be him. I don't do drugs, I drink…mmm let's say, moderately… » he said with a smile.

« Except for when you hang out with your buddies from the army, » Lanie interrupted sarcastically.

« Okay, being drunk from time to time is no big deal, it reminds us the service…you know how nostalgic I am sometimes, » he pleaded with humor.

« Give me a break », she smirked.

« Anyway, most of all, I will never, ever, lay a hand on you. You know that, right ? » he asked, raising his eyes to hers. Lanie smiled and reached her hand to softly stroke Javier's cheek. She tenderly caressed his warm and unshaven cheek with her fresh palm.

« Of course I know. You've always been great to me. And I know i'm safe with you. » she whispered without removing her hand from his skin. He let her caress him, as if he was hypnotized by her touch.

« I could never hurt you », he added in a low voice. Lanie winced slightly and lowered her hand.

« Mm…You already did actually…when you brought Kaylie at your place », she mumbled, upset by the thought of it. Javier tried not to smile.

« So, you were jealous, then ? » he asked, looking at her. Lanie bit her lips, trying hard to hide her jealousy.

« Mmm…I don't know if jealous is the right word… »

« I think you were », Javier interrupted with a smile. She glanced at him, and sighed. He was right, she couldn't deny it.

« Okay, maybe a little bit jealous, » she lied. « Let's say I was surprised…I didn't think she was your type of girl, that's all », she added.

Esposito smiled and grabbed her hand, the one she was using to stroke his cheeks just a few seconds before.

« She's not my type of girl at all », he admitted. Lanie's eyes widened.

« Javier Esposito, you are a liar. »

« Not at all, Doctor Parish », he replied, nodding. He was still holding her hand.

« Come on ! » Lanie let out a laugh. « Blond, well-built, green eyes, big boobs ? »

« You're a thousand times more beautiful than her », Esposito interrupted. She looked at him for a few seconds, considering his words, and finally smiled victoriously.

« It's nice of you. Not true though, but nice », Lanie said.

Javier intertwined his fingers in hers.

« It is the truth », he corrected her. Then he started to move his fingers so gently that she was suddenly all in a flutter. She wanted to throw herself in his arms and kiss him but she wouldn't move. Esposito was gazing at her, and the idea of kissing her wildly was also crossing his mind…but somehow he couldn't do it.

« So, tell me. What's your ex-husband's name ? » he said after a few seconds. Lanie cleared her throat, pulled out from her fantasy.

« Kramer. Michael Kramer. Why ? »

« Just asking…and where does he live ? » he asked.

Lanie nodded.

« We were studying and got married in Virginia State. But God only knows where he is now. Anyway, why are you asking this ? »

« I'd like to do some research about him tomorrow at the precinct. You know, just to find him and kick his ass… » he confided with a protective and threatening tone. Lanie let out a laugh and let go his hand, in order to come closer to Javier. She reached towards him and huddled up to his chest. He seemed a little bit surprised by her gesture but let her do so.

« Nevermind…I'm over him. We were just two kids, Michael and that marriage were a complete mistake… »

« A HOT mistake, though, as you said » Esposito corrected, a little bit jealous. Lanie grinned mischievously.

« Well, I have to admit that for that, he was… » she didn't finish her sentence and bit her lips, amused.

« You don't have to say more, » he moaned, grumpy. She was hurting his ego.

« But what I remember the most, » Lanie said, « is that you'd be ready to kick his ass for me…and that makes you 70% sexier than you already are, » she admitted with a smile, before kissing his neck softly. Javier stroke her hair, flattered by her words.

« Anyway, because of him you don't wanna be with me anymore, that's a good reason to smash his face in, isn't it ? » he said ironically. Lanie looked up at him and Javier's eyes met hers.

« I still wanna be with you. »

He looked at her carefully, slightly surprised by her words.

« You're serious ? »

« Of course I am. I have loved every second of every moment that we shared. You're a good man, you know, Javier Esposito. » she whispered before laying her head next to his neck. Javier closed his eyes as he savored her touch, while stroking his long dark hair.

« And you, you are an extraordinary woman…brave, strong…i think I love you mostly for that…added to the fact that you are physically gorgeous, of course », he added with humor. Lanie let out a laugh, again. She felt so good with him.

« So, you still love me ? » she asked.

« Duh », he sighed, avoiding her look. Lanie smiled and looked up at him, as he finally looked down.

« Say it », she whispered. Javier slightly frowned.

« You…You're not going to think it's a proposal or stuff like that, and be mad at me, right ? » he asked carefully. Lanie just nudged him in the ribs.

« Ouch. »

« Say it », she demanded again.

« If you insist… » he sighed. He stared at her a few seconds before talking.

« I love you, Lanie Parish. Like crazy. » he finally said in a whisper as he gazed at her in a way that could make her melt.

She laid back against his torso, with a smile of satisfaction.

« Like crazy. Oh really ? »

« Yup, really. » he repeated.

« So, you're not mad at me for leaving you instead of talking to you ? » she asked, a little bit concerned.

« A little bit », he admitted. « But that doesn't mean I don't love you anymore. And you have to know that I still wanna be with you, too. » he said, as he played with one of her long dark lock. Lanie always loved when he touched her hair and he knew it.

« What a sweet declaration. » Lanie grinned as she raised her look to meet Javier's eyes.

« Speaking of which, I kinda feel lonely…I'd like you to return the favor,» he teased as he offered her a sexy smile. Lanie felt butterflies inside her stomach, just like every time he looked at her like that.

She offered him one of her most beautiful smiles in return, then raised her head to him. He slightly leaned over her as he felt she was going to kiss him. Their lips met with passion as she placed her palm on his bristly cheek. He responded to her hot kiss and ran his powerful hands through her long dark hair. After a few seconds of kissing, they finally pulled away from each other, both of them out of breath.

« How was that ? » she whispered, still breathless.

« That…that's a good start », he managed to say, satisfied, as he wiped his wet lips with one finger.

« So…we're back together? » he asked then.

« We are », she confirmed with a beautiful smile.

« Gee…I can't believe we owe that to Beckett. You can thank her, that damn snooper… » he whispered as he kissed her forehead.

« I'm going to kill her, instead » Lanie replied.

« I can see how glad you are we're back together, thanks ! »

Lanie rolled her eyes.

« Whatever the result, she betrayed me. I'm not going to forget that, » she said.

« Don't be too hard on her, Lanie. » he said more seriously. « She was worried about you. And it's my fault, I almost forced her to confess. »

Lanie sighed, lost in her thoughts.

« All right…I won't be too hard on her…but I'd really like to take my revenge though… » she said as she bit her nail.

Esposito rolled his eyes and smiled.

« Why so much hate… » he sighed, amused. But Lanie wasn't listening, already thinking about some evil plans.

« First we're going to make them think we're still separated, okay ? »

Javier seemed to be reluctant a few seconds, then nodded.

« Yeah, it could be fun to ignore each other at work. »

« We'll have to be convincing. Because the three musketeers are not fooled that easily ! » she joked as she thought of Ryan, Castle and Beckett.

« Can I tell Kevin the truth at least ? You know, since that night at the restaurant, he's so desperate every time he sees me, he keeps apologizing and it's umbearable….it seems that Jenny feels awful about it. »

« She can ! » Lanie replied. « It's her fault that we broke up », she grumbled.

« Mm…I'd rather say it's yours, but… » Esposito mumbled.

« Whatever, » Lanie stopped him. « You forgot that he spends his time chatting with Castle…Believe me, your friend is a leak », Lanie added. Esposito listened to her, pensive.

« Mm…it's true he talks with Rick, more than me recently… » he had to admit, with a hint of jealousy.

« You'll be fine, baby, » Lanie kidded, poking his cheek.

« And after that, I need to make an embarrassing situation happen between Rick and Kate so that they FINALLY get together », Lanie thought out loud, still thinking about her mischevious plans. « Then she'll be mad at me at the moment, but since she'll have a happy ending, she will forgive me anyway », Lanie concluded with a smile, proud of her.

« My girl is so smart », Javier teased, kissing her forehead.

« Yeah, I know. » she said in all modesty. « But I need your help to trap them. »

« You know I can refuse you nothing, chica », Esposito replied, kissing her again.

« Besides, the way Kate interferes in our lives, we can pay her back, right ? » he added, trying to ease his conscience.

« Oh yes, that's a good reason. » Lanie approved with a smile and raising her eyes to his.

« We are a great team, Doctor Parish » he whispered, leaning towards her.

« Super great », Lanie nodded in a whisper, before kissing him with passion as their lips met again. She placed a hand on the back of his head and pulled him closer to her as they laid down progressively on the couch. As they kept kissing, Javier laid on top of her, trying not to put too much weight on her.

« I missed you », he whispered before kissing her hungrily.

« Me too... » she said as Javier's lips slipped from her mouth to her neck, slowly. She arched her back in pleasure when suddenly he stopped himself.

« Wait, I need to ask you something. » he said, searching her look.

« What ? » she asked, breathless and surprised.

« Tell me… » he said, hesitantly. « With me, it's hotter than with your lousy ex-mistake-husband, right ? » he finally asked.

Lanie let out a laugh and wanted to kiss him more.

« Come on, compared to you, he was an angel, baby… » she said with a warm look and a soft voice.

Blushing, Esposito felt his smile widening and his ego boosting considerably.

« Good answer », he replied softly before kissing her again.

**THE END**

_thanks for reading :)_


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